I want to tell you about my product or service

Updated 2 months ago by Jenni

If you want to sell me SEO, branding, or some kind of service, I’m not interested.

If you have some kind of Etsy-relaled “software”, “app”, or “tool”, read below.

If you can PROVE (as in, WITH STATS, screenshots, and case studies) that your tool has created over $1000/month additional profit for other Etsy sellers, then I will have a look at it. You MUST follow the rules below to email me.

Please note, I said $1000 PROFIT, not “income”. I’m not interested in a product that makes me $1000 but also costs $1000. No f*cking WAY!

IMPORTANT: If you email me about promoting your product without adhering to my rules (BELOW), I will delete your email, BLOCK you permanently, and set filters in my inbox so all your future emails get deleted without ever seeing my inbox.

If you’re the RARE high-quality developer, I apologize for the strict rules, but please understand that I get a literal CRAP TON of emails (that are barely in English) trying to leverage my YEARS of hard work… just so some low-quality developer can can take advantage of my audience…usually without paying me a DIME.

If you want me to actually read your email, you need to do the following:

  1. You need to use my first name and actually spell it correctly. I know, I know…this means you actually have to read at least one blog article to send me a message (gasp!)
  2. You better send me STATS. I’m not going to touch anything you send me without clear details revealing WHY your product works, how MANY people are using it, and WHY I should even care. Basically, you need to write me a sales page. A SUPER SHORT and hella concise sales page. I wrote about 50 sales pages for this blog, the least you can do is send me one.
  3. Your email needs to be in PERFECT English. If you can’t spend 5 seconds grammar and spell checking your email, you’ve got bigger problems. I can tell you right now, I WON’T send my readers to a website that isn’t in perfect English. They all think it’s spam immediately. And they’re usually right.
  4. You need to provide links to your website, social media, blog, basically anything I need to make sure you’re the real deal.
  5. What’s in it for me? If this isn’t crystal clear from the first two sentences you write, I just deleted you.

Not in the mood to adhere to my rules? Then I’ll be deleting your email without reading it! (And I’ll be blocking you as well!)

I know, I’m a bitch. The internet is a cruel mistress, and the bottom line is this: if you want your product to succeed, you need to work as hard as I do.

Put in some REAL work for me, and I’ll happily look at your product.

Just to make sure you’re extra determined, I’m not posting a link to contact me in this section. You need to go find it. (Insert evil laughter here).

How did we do?